Dear FMI

Dear FMI
I am a very humild man and I have been the best First Minister Portugal ever had.

I am very good. CDS is bad. PSD is very bad. Cavaco seems fine, but he doesn’t speak much.

I am an engineer. Well, I missed a lot of classes, but I was a friend of the director of the university, so he gave a certificate anyway, and my dad never found out xD (so don’t tell him, please, he would kill me!!).

This country was very good until PSD chumbated my PEC (I had spent an entire evening doing it!!). So, just after that we ran out of money because yes.

I don’t like Pedro Steps Rabbit. He is always saying it’s his turn to be PM. I even rejected his friend request on facebook! Well, in fact that’s a shame because he’s kinda cute lol.

So I need you to lend me some money. I “juro” (I don’t know how to say in English, go see in google translator, please) that someone will pay you back. Teixeira says we need 75 thousand million euros, but maybe you could lend me 90, so that I could construct that train that is very fast. I always wanted to have one when I was a kid, but my daddy never gave me. I have great plans for it: it will have a lot of falls and even a looping! Just like a giant roller coaster! It will be legen…wait for it…dary! (I heard this in How I Met You Mother lololol).

I also wanted to build another airport, but it’s ok if I could only have the train. In fact I think airplanes are a bit boring. Maybe Manuela Ferreira Milk like them, she is always talking about IVA, public-private parcerys and other boring stuff like that 😛 Go check her facebook, she has a foto in swimsuit. It’s very funny!

People love me here in Portugal. One day, when I was saving this country from the crisis, from the desempregation, from the aliens and from Manuela Moura Guedes, a lot of people went to Liberty Avenue screaming my name. It was a fan club called Generation “à rasca” (I have no idea how to translate this. It means that feeling you have when you want A LOT to go to the bathroom). They were all supporting me. I think it’s because I’m very pretty. My mummy always says that. I will send you a picture of me, so that you can see it too. It’s from my left side, as Luís says I’m prettier on that side. Can you send me a photo of you too? 🙂

Well, I think that’s all. I’ll do some jogging now to keep fit (you never know when you will have to ran from the cops, right?! xD). If you decide to help me, I hope you like Portugal. We have a lot of sun and very good bitches for you to swim. Thank you very much.

A xi-heart.

PS: I tried to add you as friend on Facebook, but I think you didn’t see my request. Can you accept it? Please?

PS2: If you see Angela tell her that I’m not having much time to answer her mails, and that I didn’t understand what she meant with “Hurry up or Finland is going to fuck you up, you moron”.

PS3: that’s a video game console. AHAHAH gotcha!!!1!

PS4: Sorry for my bad english.

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